Confidence

This post was inspired by Karoline, aka the lovely Teenapes, who wrote an amazing post about loving yourself. What does it mean to love yourself? Loving yourself does not mean you are self-absorbed, and I think some people do not understand that. So I am going to break it down to you what loving yourself means to me.

Do you love yourself?: I believe loving yourself means what it is: you love who you are. Loving yourself means you are not afraid to be who you are, and it is hard for A LOT of people to do that. I emphasize “ a lot” because there are so many people living their lives while not loving themselves. Some girls don’t like their face because they do not look like that pretty girl in a magazine. Some guys don’t like their bodies because girls do not find it “attractive” or gawk at them; and it is a shame.

Love Yourself because Nobody Will: Loving yourself means you love who you are on the outside, but that’s not all. It also means you love who you are on the inside. I know people who will walk around loving how they look, whether they are wearing their favorite outfit, or their makeup is on point, or they just like the way they look any time; but how do they feel on the inside? People can project themselves in a way that makes it seem like they are happy when they are not. Why do people do that? They do that to please others, since pleasing others is more important than pleasing yourself these days. They may not want so much attention on them, and do not want people to see how they really feel, which can be unhealthy. There is nothing wrong with showing your emotions. Tell people how you really feel when they ask how you are doing. Don’t tell them you are “ok” if there is something truly wrong.

Flaws and All: Insecurity is lack of self-assurance or confidence. We all have insecurities, which means we all have something that can make us uncomfortable about ourselves. You may not like how your nose is shaped, or you don’t think you look good wearing that cute dress, you think you’re hair looks weird, etc. There are so many things people do not like about themselves, but insecurities are what makes us human beings. We are supposed to have flaws, we’re not supposed to be perfect. Imagine living in a perfect world? I always think about this, and I think about how boring it would get. It would be cool to have everyone love themselves, and love others, but it would get boring after awhile. All I can say is try to embrace your flaws. I don’t really like my smile, but I still smile. I am not going to stop smiling just because I do not like how I smile; and there is no way of me changing it… I think (It’s the 21^st century, who knows what they can do these days). Be proud that your hair doesn’t look like that other person’s hair, or your body is not shaped like that person you admire. In my opinion, it is better to be different than all the same.

Find Your Inner-Confidence: If you are someone with a low self-esteem, know that you can’t have a low self-esteem forever. Low self-esteem can lead to depression, which can lead to other health problems. This is why you must take care of yourself. Love yourself. It is important to know your worth, and to know that you were born to be someone and not change for the approval of others. If you spend too much time trying to be someone you are not, it will take you longer to discover who you are and what you want to be. Learn to do things because you want to do them, not because other people do them as well. There is noting wrong with being influenced in a positive way, but there is a difference between “I love this because it makes me happy” and “I love this because everyone else likes this.”

If you are someone with a high self-esteem, keep doing you. People will say that having a high self-esteem means you are full of yourself, when it means that you simply care about yourself. There is nothing wrong with having a high self-esteem; aka there is nothing wrong with being confident. Confidence is highly attractive. I have been told that I am a very confident person, but I never thought I was that confident. It took me a while to be comfortable in my skin, and confidence is the key in the fashion world.

Just how I said before, some people can’t help but have low self-confidence because of society’s definition of perfection. The next time you look in the mirror, and call yourself “ugly,” ask yourself why you are saying that about yourself. The next time you hesitate to talk to that special someone because you do not think they will like you, push that thought aside and go out of your comfort-zone and talk to them. There is so much in life that everyone deserves to enjoy, so just live your life.

-AK